Wendy syndrome: take care of others and forget of oneself

El síndrome de Wendy: cuidar de los demás olvidándose de una misma
When talking about Wendy syndrome, many people think that description that offers the popular psychology about this behavior, is somewhat isolated and typical of previous generations. Our mothers or grandmothers.
Nothing further from the truth. The need to take care of our partners, give everything to them and prioritize their needs before our is something that occurs today with normality. There are many women who make the mistake of "too much love" couple, thereby losing their own self-esteem.
It must be kept a bound, a balance. One can worship your partner much love to their parents or their friends, but we must never reach the end of forgetting our needs and ignore our personal growth.
Let's talk today about this topic in our space. We know a little better Wendy syndrome.

Wendy, the perfect woman for a Peter Pan syndrome

Remember a little personalities of Peter Pan and Wendy Darling in the famous play by James M. Barrie. Peter is that young man who refuses to grow, don't want the responsibilities of an adult and seeks, first and foremost, live a life of adventure without having to ever enter into this area of stability and maturity.
Peter Pan would describe, therefore to all those men rather immature, unable to not only take responsibility for their own lives, but also of others. And what about Wendy Darling? She's that girl that already from the first day sewing the shadow of Peter this not to lose it again, who cares for housecleaning, "lost children"... It gives everything for others because this is how she is happy.
Now let's see what features are that tend to define persons with the syndrome of Wendy:
  • Feel the need to take care, meet others, because that is the way they feel happy making others.
  • They prioritize the needs of others to his own, that is why they come to sacrifice their hobbies and even what to them is important.
  • For these people, take care of is a way to offer love and they do so freely and so inclined. No one imposed upon them which should take care of other people. However, they tend to "fit" very well with partners with Peter Pan syndrome, i.e., immature men who are left to care for, that they don't want to take responsibility and for whom it is convenient to have a couple who take care of everything, including children.
  • People with the syndrome of Wendy afraid, above all, for two things: to other people to leave need them and to stay alone. The idea of not having terrified anyone who care, because that is the way in which they can feel useful and offer love. At the same time, thanks to this, they see themselves as valid and necessary.
  • It should take into account an important aspect. It is possible that caring and attending make them happy, but always comes a time when you realize that the other may be manipulating them, or that you are paying too much for nothing. One day they feel frustrated and undervalued, and that's when the problem appears. You have to go carefully so that these behaviors do not lead to possible depression.

Take care of yourself, worrying also of others

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Can we maybe stop taking care of others? Or worry about the things we want to? At all. That never. Our partners, our family and, in particular, our children, are those people who are part of our lives, that we identify and which are indisputable pillars in our day to day.
However, in all our relationships you must have a balance and take into account these aspects:
  • Don't forget the importance of promoting your personal growth, to have your space, your hobbies, to defend your values and take care of your self-esteem. If you give everything for others, you will stay empty. Then will come the dissatisfaction, frustration and sadness. What serve then others if you're unhappy? You are welcome.
  • If you are a person who feels proud of itself, if you feel happy with a good self-esteem and autonomy to hold you accountable for yourself, all this positive energy you bring to others, all of these emotions as appropriate.
  • You can take care of your partner, the person you love. However, keep in mind that you also deserve to be cared for, recognized and valued. It is a play of forces where both must win and never lose. If you are one of them who feel happy taking care of others, remember that you must first start for you. If you fall, others fall. Cultivates your happiness and, then, you will also be able to offer happiness.
It is worth it!
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