The syndrome of Anna Karenina: victims of love

El síndrome de Anna Karenina: víctimas del amor
Lev Nicolaievich Tolstoy left us a novel that not only is a classic within the literature, but that also serves as a reflection of the most passionate love, intense and dangerous that always ends in tragic circumstances.
When talking about the syndrome of Anna Karenina, we are not referring at all to this outcome so dramatic that chose the female protagonist of the novel, but that passion, that affective Union where, sometimes, we lose our own limits.
Let's talk today about the dangers of those passions which we leave more injured than benefited, obsessive relationships very harmful for our health.

1. the passionate love and its dangers

It is said that who has lived a very passionate love in the past, is still missing that feeling, despite the pain that has been able to suffer to lose it. The intense emotions make us feel alive, full of convulsive sensations where mingles the physical attraction, emotional union, mutual commitment and an obsession to create an attachment where the "you and I" acquire its maximum sense.
However, there are a number of dangers that we need to keep in mind:
  • Suffer the syndrome of Anna Karenina those people who have experienced more than just an infatuation. You actually have what is known as "afectivo-obsesivo disorder", and is characterized by the way lack of personal control, by an absolute dependence on where we see where are the limits. We can leave to our that beloved, renounce that which defines us, submit us to control the other just by having it close.
  • The love that you feel does not offer a true happiness , since what more feels is anguish: for not having to be loved by our side every moment, distrust, fear being abandoned or fooled by thinking that the other not offered to us as much as we ourselves to it.
  • Little by little, we lose our self-esteem, our integrity, our emotional balance. Focus our life around another person's so obsessive mode means losing their own, and there can be something more destructive.

2. passionate love: how to manage it

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We all know that in the early stages of an infatuation, it is usual to feel this passion so intense and indescribable. However, there are a number of aspects that you must keep in mind not to fall into the dangerous syndrome of Anna Karenina.
He reflects on these dimensions:
  • Never look couple with the idea of "fill gaps", or supplement that "another half". Life has no sole objective find that "other half". What we must do first, is inwardly grow, be full, balanced and mature able to be happy individually and, at the same time, able to give happiness to others. Don't look for others to cover your empty, your fears. It is mutually enrich themselves as a couple.
  • Beware of set a type of attachment with your partner that will not allow you to have freedom, that do not allow you to grow or even make you lose your integrity or what you characterized. Love is to win, grow, not to remove or limit. And obsessions are never good, because they put boundaries to our lives. At the time that you put as priority the other person, you will be losing things. Leave aside your hobbies, your friends, you replantearás even your own values. And this is not good. You don't have to remember his absolute passion for count Vronsky and Anna Karenina. There comes a time in which even put aside his own son.
  • You never make the mistake of blindly love. Love with your eyes open, with an open heart, loves conscious knowing what you do and, in turn, watching everything that the other person does for you. Do respect your needs? you listen and you have in mind? allows you to grow as a person and helps you, in turn, to grow as a couple? True love is not obsession. It is a daily happiness where both members of the couple know how to solve problems, where both are heard, where respected the compromise, where there is no jealousy or mistrust, not blackmail.
Remember, Anna Karenina syndrome is very present today. Love with intensity, loves with a passion, but never blindly.
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