How to react in front of an infidelity?

The wounds of infidelity are not forgotten with time and almost never heal, but everyone deserves second chances. Although the fear will always be there, we can try to reconciliation.

With the first infidelity, innocence is lost. Our confidence in the couple is broken and fall to the ground many of our values. But how should you react? what is the best option?

The impact of infidelity

Infidelity, sometimes arises when we least expect it. A message on the mobile of your partner. An email. A photograph or an inescapable track that the person we love, we been unfaithful. How to react? An interesting aspect that we explain psychologists is that people have an obsession to understand it all. Look for an explanation which we revealed why he had to occur.

• Lack love.
• Boredom.
• A chance encounter.
• A personality trait that we didn't know in our partner.
• Lack of maturity of our partner.
• Or even our fault: lack of attention, lack of time to share...

One aspect that is clear first of all is that, undergo an infidelity, often feel a direct into our self-esteem attack . Not only feel rage by what had happened, pain and even hatred, but it is also customary that we feel humiliated. That is why sometimes run the risk of falling into a depression. But in reality, how should we react? What would be more reasonable in these cases?

How typically react to an infidelity?

The way in which people tend to react to an infidelity will depend on several factors:

• How was the infidelity. Something specific? Or betrayal last a long time?
• We are we responsible? Have we neglected too much to our partner?
• It also depends on How hasbeen the discovery. Does your partner continues to deny it? Or recognize it and no regrets?
• Our personality will also make us to react in one way or another.

Now let's see what are the most common ways of reacting to an infidelity:

1 find a guilty

It is one of the most common forms. In our effort to understand we obsess at times in search for culprits. O well focus all our contempt for our partner, or we can direct you to that person with which we have been unfaithful. Look for guilty parties helps us to vent, but it must be something specific. After focus guilty, usually arises either separation or even forgiveness.

2. the revenge

Are many people who, after an infidelity, looking to do damage to the couple. It can be that we have decided to separate and break the relationship. Or maybe even that is has decided to continue living together. Either way, some people seek revenge keeping another relationship, seeking thus to cause the same pain, the same suffering on the other.

3. the forgiveness

Must be clear, forgive does not mean always be reconciled. We can continue the relationship but forgiving is not forgetting. It sometimes requires us to again rebuild the relationship with an uncomfortable basis of resentment, which is not always easy. But it may also happen that, despite everything we were able to thrive. If forgiveness has been offered because there is a real and genuine repentance, we can accept it. But it won't be easy, we have to learn to live with a "small or large chronic pain".

4. a new stage in the couple

It can be that you be surprised, but there are couples in which, after an infidelity comes a new stage of more intensity in the couple. Reconciliation and a more intense emotional and sexual stage is. Joins on the one hand the fear of losing the loved, whose guilt has been unfaithful and those long conversations in which have been clarified important aspects. Surprisingly, we know it, but it happens.

5. the final separation

Inevitable and understandable. Cheating is a betrayal of the commitment, the Covenant of intimacy between two people. It is an offense to our feelings and an attack on our self-esteem and personal balance. Not all people are able to offer forgiveness, and not all people deserve no such apology. Most of the time, infidelity ends at rupture.

But, what is the best option after an affair?

There is no option better or worse. The best option is one that gives us balance and emotional tranquility. The wounds of infidelity are not forgotten with time and almost never heal. We can try to reconciliation, but the fear will always be there. Always forgiveness is therapeutic, we know that, but sometimes is not for everyone, then still as healthy break and our own recovery.
But if the betrayal consider it as something timely and think that it won't happen again, later. All people deserve second chances, but the other person must strive and show you his sincere affection and their genuine repentance.
Sorry if you can and if you think you're going to be able to continue with the relationship. But if your self-esteem is fragmented and feel that your interior is too broken to go ahead, set distances, and ends with what you did damage. Now is the time to recover, for get up again and look to the horizon with hope.

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