People need to establish bonds of love, respect and protection to those who love. There is nothing as necessary and at the same time comforting. However, you also have to be clear that these relationships of attachment must be healthy and at the same time, provide us some personal space, certain autonomy.
And what about our affective relationships? What happens when we develop a blind and excessive attachment to our partner? That cease to be ourselves, which already we can not differentiate the 'I' of the us, who we become dependent and, little by little, we develop a toxic love.
Today we learn 5 important aspects that can teach us the concept of the 'detachment'.
1. the detachment is not break emotional ties, reinforce them with greater balance
It is possible that the word 'detachment' confuse many. "Peel off" would not be in this emotional context the idea away from someone and even less than "cool" our relations. Practice healthy detachment is, in fact, a principle that everyone should learn to practice and, in turn, encourage in our children.
Keep in mind these dimensions to better understand it.
- The detachment tells us that you people must learn to be autonomous, safe of us themselves and with a proper emotional maturity.
- Having a good self-esteem is a basic pillar for developing a healthy attachment.
- People who practice detachment not they are afraid of loneliness, are able to do things for themselves with confidence in themselves and without having to rely on second opinions. Sure that you also know the case of a woman or a man who cannot be without a partner and have the mistaken idea that, to be happy, it is necessary to have someone beside her to "that take care of them". It is therefore vital that we learn to be happy as we are, in our own loneliness.
- The detachment allows us to break those chains that sometimes other people about us. Think of those mothers who both meddling in the lives of children that do not allow them to be themselves... what will happen in the long run? That that child will hate her mother. Why is much better to promote a "healthy detachment' where inspired confidence to our children so that they are able to do things for themselves. All of this offers a mutual happiness.
2. you are responsible for your life
You, and only you, are responsible for your own life. Do not you take the blame to others of what happens to you, don't say that's "never can be happy because the person I love I want to", "never will I be able fulfill my dreams because my family says that I don't have enough capacity".
These expressions are classic examples of the more toxic addiction and dangersor. Why must you depend on your second people's happiness? Don't do it, don't let it. From the moment that your own well-being depends on what else do, say or stop, you're hurting yourself.
Break the chains and make you responsible for your life!
3 you are a free person, but it also favors the freedom of others
Now you know that it is not appropriate to rely on others to be happy, to be yourself and get your own goals in life. However, it is important to know also that you put under your chains to other people. Remember that must have your own freedom, but at the same time, also respect others.- Loving someone is not control or dominate. Love is trust, and at the same time, the confidence implicit in is freedom. For example, if you want your partner you don't why controlling it at every moment to know what he is doing, you know you want to and that, therefore, not going to betray. You trust and offer personal spaces to those who love.
4 learn to live in the present
Sometimes, spent much of our day to day recalling those errors of yesterday, those failures that marked us, such losses, those roads that do not we dared to take by indecision.... What is the point of setting all our attention on something that is no longer, that no longer exists?
Our attachments are anchored, especially in those events of the past that unite us inevitably to something that hurts us. So, you must aware on being more present, to assess the "here and now", because it is in this moment when you open your real opportunity to be happy. Don't miss it, the past no longer exists, and tomorrow has not yet happened... experience to maximize your present!
5 it becomes aware that nothing is eternal, that the losses are part of life
In our life in this world in which we all are registered, nothing is eternal. Life flows, moves, changes all the time and are very few things that we can retain.
We will not be able to keep youth forever, many friendships are made and fall apart, love today can be the tears of morning, we left our elders, the children grow...
It is important that we learn to accept that losses are going to make Act of presence throughout our existence, hence the importance of developing an attachment healthy, accepting that you lose that you love now, but not your life will stop. Will have to go forward, with integrity, with all the fullness you.
Awareness of all these aspects and implement them whenever you can.
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